The Canary In the Coal Mine

Once again, Scott Noelle is (IMHO) a parenting genius.


THE DAILY GROOVE ~ by Scott Noelle
www.enjoyparenting.com/dailygroove

:: The Canary In the Coal Mine ::

Long ago, miners avoided death by bringing canaries
into the coal mines. The sensitive songbirds would
react to small amounts of toxic gases, thereby
alerting the miners to the invisible danger.

In a way, our children provide a similar service.
We've been so conditioned to tolerate stress that we
often fail to seek relief from it, but our sensitive
children have no such tolerance. They often feel
*our* stress before *we* do!

So when your child seems particularly irritable and
reactive, it's a good idea to ask yourself whether
s/he might be reflecting *your* stress. Check in
with your body and emotions, and let yourself *feel*
what's there.

Seek the fresh air of soothing, stress-free
thoughts, and then bless your child for keeping you
in touch with your Inner Guidance.

http://dailygroove.net/canary

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Copyright (c) 2008 by Scott Noelle

Boxes, a new home, and Christmas.... Oh my!

Whew! It's been busy around here. There is so much I should update, but time is limited. So, a quick update-

* The Christmas gifts are bought and wrapped. (They are sitting under our new beautiful Christmas tree. I wish I could take a picture to share but my camera batteries are dead. Ah! That reminds me, I had better charge them before Christmas.)

* We traveled to GA over the weekend. While there we dropped off my husband's truck and our boat. We also found our new home! (Matter of fact, the boat and truck are sitting in our new garage now.) It's such a relief knowing exactly where we will be living before we get there. (You military families can appreciate this feeling, I'm sure.)


(Isn't it a nice home? This monster has 1,890 square feet!)

* About half of our stuff is already packed. (My mother has been staying with us for about the past month and has helped with this project quite a bit.)

* We fired our old realtor and hired a fantastic new one. Hopefully our home in KY will sell or rent quickly. (Fingers crossed!)

* We move to GA in six days.

* Our lessons will resume (ha ha, begin) January 15th.

Okay, gotta run. There is so much to do. Today I will visit friends and pick up Christopher for an early Christmas. :)

My short Christmas wish list

Ah! Christmas is in the air. Have you finished your shopping? I'm pretty much finished, only a few last things. Here's what I'm asking for this Christmas-

More socks like these...


I'm really diggin' on this groovy apron. (Maybe it will get me in the cleaning mood. Hey, it can't hurt!)



I love this thermos. It says, "Gardening, yoga, bubble baths, medication.... and I still want to smack somebody!"



Oh, I almost forgot.... lots and lots of credits to PaperBackSwap. I LOVE PBS!

Spring break pictures- Camping!

Looks pretty rustic, right?



Yeah... Not quite so rustic. See that building on the left? There was a wedding and reception there the first night we camped. (I'm still kicking myself for not taking pics of the drunken guests! One of them even hit a car in the parking lot!)


Remington enjoyed the self inflating air mattress. Everything is a trampoline at this age. ;)


Dad really wanted an afternoon nap.


Fire making lessons with dad.


The boys whittled with sharp rocks. Devan made the comment, "We're primal, just like the people a long time ago." (I think he will enjoy beginning SOTW.)


They also collected things for our nature tray. (I'll have to share a pic of that later.)


Remington enjoys doing "cool tricks" with his skateboard in the grass rather than the pavement. (Which saves me a heart attack or two.)


Richie learned that practice is the key to getting the sleeping bag back into it's storage bag.
See the rug in front of the tent door? It's one of those fake grass/hard plastic deals and my husband attached it to a piece of wood. It's worth it's weight in gold for keeping dirt, leaves, and sand out of your tent.




I took this pic to remember this excellent system my wonderful husband devised for storage. The small tote has pantry food items. The large tote has everything you need to cook other than the stoves and gas. The cooler is obvious... The totes are fabulous for keeping everything together, tidy, and dry. See how the lid on the large tote is flipped? The morning dew had not yet dried and I needed a dry food prep surface. Voila!
I must remember this system for Bonnaroo!

Spring family pictures

Kids are awesome!

I just showed this static line parachute jump video to my youngest son, Remington (5). He asked,

"Who's still in the wrong plane?"

I may be in love with Scott Noelle

THE DAILY GROOVE ~ by Scott Noelle
www.enjoyparenting.com/dailygroove

:: Unconditional Presence: The Oak Tree ::

Imagine a great Oak Tree. It knows where it stands,
and it holds powerfully to its position. But it
doesn't defend its position -- it's simply *there*.

You can drive a car into the massive trunk of the
Oak Tree, and the car will be smashed while the tree
remains standing. It's not standing *against* you, and
it doesn't take your destructive behavior personally.
It just remains rooted... focused... present.
Unconditionally.

Now imagine that *you* are the Oak Tree... How does it
feel to be so powerfully positioned? Isn't it nice to
know that no one can uproot you? Would you even bother
to resist? Or would you simply relax and enjoy being
right where you want to be?

Next time you feel "uprooted" by your child's
behavior, emotions, or any other conditions, remember
the unconditional presence of the Oak Tree. Stand
rooted in the ground of infinite Well-Being.

There is nothing to resist... All is well.

http://dailygroove.net/oak-tree

Feel free to forward this message to your friends!
(Please include this paragraph and everything above.)
Copyright (c) 2008 by Scott Noelle

The trickle-down theory of human kindness by Scott Noelle

I don't know about you all, but I believe this man is a gentle parenting genius. This message was what I needed and it's going on the fridge. ;)



THE DAILY GROOVE ~ by Scott Noelle
www.enjoyparenting.com/dailygroove

:: The Trickle-Down Theory of Human Kindness ::

In peaceful "primitive" cultures, kindness is
sustained from generation to generation by a kind of
"trickle-down" effect. At its core is the commonly
held value of serving and delighting younger people,
especially babies.

Adults appreciate and support the delight of adolescents,
who delight in the joy of prepubescents,
who enjoy entertaining younger children,
who love to carry babies and play with toddlers.

The elegance of this top-down, pleasure-oriented value
system is that the youngest people receive the most
(and give the least) at the developmental stage when
they're naturally narcissistic, while those who give more
are more adept at deriving joy from giving.

In contrast...

Adults in our culture often *fear* adolescents,
who call prepubescents "dweebs,"
who disparagingly call younger children "babies,"
who compete with real babies for scarce love and attention.

When your children behave unkindly, remember that you
can't enforce authentic kindness. Instead, let it
trickle down by *modeling* unconditional generosity.
Using your creativity, find a way to serve and delight
both "aggressor" and "victim" ...and yourself, too!

http://dailygroove.net/trickle-down

Feel free to forward this message to your friends!
(Please include this paragraph and everything above.)
Copyright (c) 2008 by Scott Noelle

(Emphasis mine)

My knight

Yesterday my beloved husband was honored with the Order of St George.

A warm winter day

The daily groove

Have you all discovered the daily groove? I highly recommend signing up. Here's a little sample of what will arrive in your email box. (And THIS newsletter really is worth signing up for, IMO.)

THE DAILY GROOVE ~ by Scott Noelle
www.enjoyparenting.com/dailygroove


:: Do You Know How I Know...? ::

There's a scene in the comedy movie "The 40-Year-Old
Virgin" where two men get into a back-and-forth
exchange of insults, each beginning with "You know
how I know you're gay?"

While I'm not inclined to re-enact the homophobic
banter, the scene inspired me and my wife to use the
back-and-forth format in a positive, playful way...

One day, when we were stressed about money, we
deliberately shifted from scarcity to prosperity
thinking by asking each other repeatedly:

"Do you know how I know we're rich?"

Each time, we sifted through our current life
experience for evidence of abundance and answered...

* Because we have two wonderful children.
* Because we have plenty of good food.
* Because we have supportive friends.

Soon our kids caught wind of the fun and joined the
game enthusiastically...

* Because we can play all day.
* Because we all love each other.
* Because... Because... Because...

Soon we were all *feeling* rich, and the ebb in our
cash flow didn't seem like such a big problem anymore!

So... How do you know YOU'RE rich? :-)

http://dailygroove.net/how-i-know

Feel free to forward this message to your friends!
(Please include this paragraph and everything above.)
Copyright (c) 2008 by Scott Noelle

He's 9 years old

Wow. My little Devan is now a whopping 9 years old. It's really hard to believe how quickly our children grow. (Isn't time an amazing concept? I've been with him just about every single day of his life and yet it doesn't seem to me that it has already been 3,287 days.)

The goal

But if you ask what is the good of education in general, the answer is easy: that education makes good men, and that good men act nobly.

— Plato, Greek philosopher (c. 428-c. 348)

Camping- The place

Camping- Family pics

Camping- Gathering the firewood

Hard to photograph children

The date stamp is wrong on these pics. I apologize. :)

So, what happens when your older boys cover their faces and squeal,
"I don't like pictures of me!"
You get a LOT of little boy pictures.
Above- Christopher and Devan cover their faces when mom pops in with the camera

Above- Remington and Callie play school

Above- Remington loves the zoo

Above- Remington at Vacation Bible School this year

Above- Remington and Callie do chalkboard work

I love..... doodles

Uh oh. I finally found it. I have found Devan's "I love..." doodles.

Devan is my eight year old son... I should have seen this coming. After all, in this day and age most children have "I love..." doodles by the second grade and quite a few of them have began experimenting with kissing and sometimes more.

So, when I saw the words "I love..." my heart froze but only for a second.
Devan's doodle says,

I love ants!!!

I am pleased my child has the ability to love childhood things before being pressured into behaving like an adult.

Great advice

THE DAILY GROOVE ~ by Scott Noelle
www.enjoyparenting.com/dailygroove

:: Implicit Validation ::

Much is said about the importance of *validating*
children's feelings -- telling children that it's okay
to feel how they feel.

What's rarely acknowledged is that children innately
*know* their feelings *are* valid, so they don't need
validation unless they've been previously INvalidated.

When the child's inherent sense of worthiness is
intact, the real beneficiary of explicit validating is
the parent whose feelings were invalidated in
childhood.

Children derive greater benefit from *implicit*
validation, which is most powerfully expressed when we
are willing to be fully present with them as they move
through their emotions.

No words are needed to validate implicitly. You never
say, "It's okay to be happy," you just *know* it's
okay. So why say, "It's okay to be sad/mad/etc," if
so-called "negative" emotions are just as valid as the
"positive" ones?

You'll find it easier to stay present if you hold this
thought: Children who have strong feelings are blessed
with strong Inner Guidance.

http://dailygroove.net/validation

Feel free to forward this message to your friends!
(Please include this paragraph and everything above.)

Today's Daily Groove message was originally
presented on September 21, 2006.

Copyright (c) by Scott Noelle