Attention Citizens

If you have offspring between the ages of six and sixteen you are REQUIRED to send them to our community building for training. This training will take place approximately twenty days per month, one hundred and eighty days per year. These lessons are crucial for your offspring and our community. Our community spends quite a bit of money each year to ensure that your child is trained in skills necessary to become a contributing citizen.

For your convenience, a designated vehicle will transport your child. (Yes, we care that much about your child's training.) Any/all negative incidents encountered during this transportation will be ignored by our community building. You must contact another entity to file complaints.

It is our obligation to inform you that many of your offspring's Constitutional rights will be ignored by our staff. Also, it is critical that your offspring learn to become complacent on demand.



We will assign appropriate clothing to your child. The caregiver is responsible for purchases. This also helps stimulate our economy.

Caregivers are required to purchase supplies to contribute to our classroom community box. There will be no private property in our buildings.

We will prescribe appropriate behavior for your child.

We will assign a space for your child's belongings while in our building. This space will be subject to illegal search and seizure by our staff and police.

In cases of lock down your offspring will be required to sit on the floor of dark rooms in silence upon COMMAND.



During times of lock down your rights as the offspring's caregiver will be suspended. Your offspring will be required to remain in our facility until training has ceased. You may stand outside the building and wait for notification that your offspring is available for pick up.

Our building's wishes take precedence over the rights of your family unit. We will prescribe additional work for you to complete during your private in-home time. Compliance is required. This will also help train you to become a contributing citizen as many assignments require a purchase. Once again, good for the economy.

Please know this is for the benefit of your family unit. This training will prepare you all to become contributing citizens of our community.

Don't worry! It will be loads of fun! Come sign your child in and get a free balloon!