Oh! Save me public school!

Wait a minute.... Something MUST be wrong! I just realized.... Oh! Dare I say it? I have become terribly unprepared for the REAL WORLD!

*I haven't set a timer lately to ensure I can relocate myself every 30 minutes or so. After all, how can I learn to be punctual without practice? And how can I be expected to learn to switch "mind gears" if I'm not forced to focus on a new subject every so often?

*I haven't been in a fight in quite sometime. It's been...... Well, since middle school actually. Wonder if that's a coincidence? Nah. It couldn't be.
I really must put myself around people I KNOW will BULLY me. I NEED this training. How am I going to handle it when it happens in real life?

*It's been quite some time since my every movement was monitored and controlled. I believe I may be shifting too much in my seat as I type. I can't keep my own foot still! Something must be wrong! I keep getting distracted and I can't keep staring at this computer without noticing the xmas tree, my son talking to me, the sound of my birds chirping, the fact that I am really thirsty, thoughts about what I will do today, wait a minute... What were we discussing? Oh yeah! See my problem? What will I do? I NEED someone to point out that this is NOT NORMAL. Maybe I need meds?

*It's been quite some time since I have compared my own clothing to my peers. I believe I may not be spending enough. Or, maybe I'm not wearing the right things. How am I to tell? I think I should get into some peer clique so I may learn the best way to dress. Now I only need to decide which clique is best for me. Should I pick the preps, goths, stoners? What do you mean we don't actually divide that way as adults???

*It's been a while since an authority figure hit on me sexually. School enrollment could take care of that quickly. Odds are, I'll be hit on by my teacher by the end of my schooling. Of course, it's hard to understand how this is good for me.

*I would love to continue listing the things I am lacking in, but it's clear to me that I need to get busy! After all, I've only recently began to crochet and I believe I'm behind. I think my peers, on average, perform better than I. So, I've got some homework to do. I MUST get my crocheting skills up to par. How will I make it in the real world if I'm not, at least, average?

Have you noticed any training YOU need for the real world?